The 4 big mistakes I made when I first became a manager
.. or what you should probably avoid after getting promoted
Creating this week's newsletter presented me with an unexpected challenge. I found myself struggling with the idea of opening up about my own missteps and learnings in leadership—a topic that, even thinking about it, made me feel incredibly vulnerable. The question that was on my mind was whether sharing the moments where I truly struggled, especially in the not-so-distant past, was something I was comfortable with.
As you are currently reading this, I came to the conclusion that if I share both I and others can grow from it.
Transitioning from managing products to managing people, I carried a false assumption that the skills which served me well in product management would seamlessly translate to effective people management. This assumption led me down a path filled with learning experiences, some of which were humbling to say the least. Reflecting on these moments, I realized that leadership, is a journey that pushes me beyond my comfort zone, challenging me to grow in ways I have not anticipated.
(intro) Managing products vs. managing people
Products, though sometimes complicated, operate within defined parameters. People, on the other hand, are infinitely more complex, driven by motivations, emotions, and personal goals. The transition exposed a gap in my understanding — managing effectively in the product domain didn't automatically equip me with the tools needed for leadership.
This realization marked the beginning of a significant transformation in my approach to leadership. The journey from managing products to managing people has been filled with learning experiences that reshaped my approach to leadership, focusing on importance of empathy, personalization, and letting people own their own journey.
The 4 biggest mistakes I made (amongst many)
1. Being liked over helping to grow
When I first started leading, I really wanted to be seen as a likable leader. I thought if the members in my team liked me, everything would work out better. This thinking was first and foremost selfish because it was more about my feelings than what was best for the team. I didn't see right away that being a good leader isn't about being popular. It's about helping the team do well and grow in their role.
When I first actively realized that this behavior existed in my leadership style, I had to take a hard look at myself and why I was making decisions. Was it to make people like me, or was it to help them get better at what they are doing? I realized that trying to be the most liked wasn't helping anyone grow, including me. This was tough to accept because it meant I had to change how I did things. I had to start making choices that were good for the peoples future, even if they didn't make me the most popular person at that moment.
Changing my focus from wanting to be liked to wanting to make a real difference was a big step. It meant doing things that were right for others, not just for me.
2. The Lone Warrior Syndrome
Early in my leadership tenure, I was captured by the "Lone Warrior Syndrome" — a self-imposed belief that if I could keep all the big problems and distractions away from my team, they could do their jobs better. This meant that when something looked very hard, I would do it myself instead of letting others handle it. I wanted to shield them from stress and keep things smooth.
Surprise, surprise, this wasn't the best idea. By trying to protect them too much, I didn't let them face their own challenges. I didn't see that my team needed to deal with tough situations to learn and grow stronger.
I had to learn to step back and trust my team. I started to understand that facing difficulties is a part of the job, and it's how people get better at what they do. In the ends its how I got better at what I did. Instead of keeping all the hard tasks to myself, I began to share them with the teams I work with. Letting go of the need to protect my team from everything was not easy. It felt risky at first. But, it turned out to be good for both myself and the people I manage. This way, everyone grows and gets better together.
3. Managed everyone the same
In the beginning, I tried to lead everyone in the way I would have liked to be led myself. I thought there was one good way to manage, and many bad ways, so I used the same approach for everyone. But not long after, I saw that this didn't work well. Not everyone on my team was the same. Each person had their own way of doing things, their own needs, and what motivated them was different.
I had to understand that a good leader sees and respects these differences. It was a big lesson for me to learn that I need to listen more and adjust how I lead based on what each team member needs. This was not easy at first. It meant I had to pay more attention to each person and change my approach often. But it made a huge difference.
When I started leading people in a way that suited them better they were happier, more motivated, and we got more done as a team. This experience taught me that there is no one-correct-way in leading a team.
4. Avoiding Honest Feedback to Spare Feelings
Editorial Note: This point seemed very connected to the first point I brought up about being liked. But since I had to overcome it by itself, I decided to add this paragraph as a sperate 4th point.
Initially, I wanted to be first and foremost seen as supportive and positive, believing that maintaining a harmonious atmosphere was crucial. This led to me avoiding to give honest feedback if I thought it might hurt someone's feelings. Whenever there were mistakes or areas for improvement, I would gloss over them, focusing instead on what was going well. My intention was to protect my team's morale, but this approach had unintended consequences.
I soon realized that by not providing clear and constructive feedback, I was hindering my team's ability to grow and improve. They missed out on valuable learning opportunities because I was too cautious about preserving their feelings. This realization hit me hard — in my effort to avoid discomfort, I was actually doing a disservice to my team. Additionally I simply did not like to be the bearer of bad news, (or feedback in this case), so there was definitely also a selfish aspect to me not providing this feedback.
Embracing the necessity of honest feedback marked a significant turning point in my leadership. I learned that providing constructive criticism, when done respectfully and thoughtfully, does not diminish morale; instead, it fosters professional development and a culture of excellence.
Conclusion
My objective in sharing these errors is not just to expose my own journey, but to arm you with knowledge that can help you navigate your own leadership path. By learning from these mistakes, you can create an environment that encourages growth, innovation, and resilience. It’s about embracing the lessons from these experiences and using them as stepping stones toward becoming a more effective leader. My hope is that, armed with these insight, you'll navigate your leadership path with greater confidence and purpose.
For more insights check out my LinkedIn: Stefan Januschke on LinkedIn